Episode 125 – The Fundamentals of Feeling Better

Sometimes we need to go back to basics. I was reminded of this recently with kids returning to sports that they haven’t been able to really play or practice for almost 15 months now and how all of the coaches are “going over basics” the fundamentals. In gymnastics that might be drills, strength training, basic skills and body shapes. And how incredibly important it is to establish a baseline and those fundamentals before racing forward into competition or pushing new, difficult and hard skills. And if you don’t do that if  good coach doesn’t do these things for their coachees or in this example that I”m giving athletes they’ll end up with injuries, over use or accidents from falling. Also just mentally they feel like they are being pushed too hard and don’t want to engage. This is actually in parallel to what I see regularly in artists. Sometimes we need to go back to the basics, and remember our daily habits, simple things that are so easy to not do particularly when you aren’t feeling good. Right now I”m going to say that maybe not everyone is feeling this, but there seems to be a large collect feeling with events opening up again and artists transitioning now back to playing live and how great that is but it’s also anxiety provoking. Some of you may have been under restrictions for over 15 months or more. You’ve since developed a new routine, maybe you’ve even started a new job to help compensate for what you were not able to make at playing live and you have to navigate a significant change all over again. It’s these times now when the fundamentals of feeling good are so important. And it’s what almost always gets lost or forgotten when you’re in a place where you aren’t feeling that great, some will call it in a funk, some call it anxiety, maybe even borderline depression. Please reach out to a professional therapist if you’re feeling depressed at any time. These self-coaching techniques are what I really hope each and every person that I work with ends up really taking on board and keeping with them for a long time to come. So what are the fundamentals.

1. Daily Habits – Morning Routine – Daily Routines

   1. Gratitude, the first 5 mins, meditation

   2. THere is a direct connection between how good people feel and their daily habits of course. Especially the habits that have the first thing in the morning. The better you start your day the better your day will be.

   3. When you’re feeling down this can be hard to remember because stress and anxiety tends to make you feel tired and less likely to follow through on those habits.

   4. So you have to break the cycle at some point. 

   5. The reason I’m doing this podcast today is to help remind you that you may be in a position right now where things are really hard but you have to break the cycle today, get outside, take a walk, put on a meditation on YT. 

   6. Write down three things you’re grateful for and how you want your day to go.

   7. These things matter, and WILL make you feel better, you might be resisting them heavily right now. 

   8. If that’s the case it’s a good time to get back to basics today.

   9. You’ve got this, there is no perfect way to do it, but I want you to feel relief and know that you can help yourself to feel better.

2. Self-Check In – A process in which to ask yourself maybe even multiple times a day. “How am I doing?” “How am I feeling?”

   1. It’s not unusual to go back and forth between feeling good and not feeling good even multiple times throughout the day, especially in the climate that we work in as artists.

   2. Especially in times of heavy transition so asking yourself multiple times a day helps you to remember that it’s okay if you’re not feeling 100% and it’s okay to start feeling better if you want to and to give yourself permission to do that.

   3. I do this very simply with a phone alarm reminder – it goes off three times a day and on my screen it says “How are you feeling?” And sometimes I have to say “not that great!” and sometimes it’s fine and I can say “I’m okay right now in this 5 mins I”m okay.”

   4. If I’m not feeling great it actually gives me a moment to recognize that. 

   5. If you’re really busy, maybe you have kids chances are that when you aren’t feeling great you’re pushing it aside in order to get through your day or to not upset those around you. I get that we have to do that sometimes, but also sometimes we need 5 mins to recognise where we are at.

I have a process that I do when I ask myself this question “how are you feeling right now?” If the answer is “not very good.”

I close my eyes for 5 mins and ask myself to welcome the bad feelings that I have. I actively look to recognize them and then I hold them really close to me and I find that they start to dissolve a little.

When you push them aside all day long for days on end they never dissolve they just stay there and get bigger.

Do I do this and overtime days usually that anxiety or feeling over that thing or moment dissolves to where I don’t feel as on edge anymore.

Welcome the feelings.

So there are a few more fundamentals I cover them all in my programs they are very important to me and I get feedback from my coachees all the time that they work and are extremely helpful. 

I’m not too proud to admit that I myself have been using these fundamentals throughout a transition of my own recently and continue to, because they truly work.