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There are two ways that you can change your self-talk.
Repetition and Action and often the best results come when you do both.
Habits can be formed by repetition, this actually works.
But also it needs to be cemented in place by taking new actions and having awareness of what you are currently saying and doing that is not working for you.
I have so many ways that you can do this…I”m going to run down a few here.
Journaling – writing down your thoughts, beware of the editor within you that will edit those thoughts before they even get onto paper though.
When I get people to write – free-write or journal their thoughts for awareness it’s usually over a week if not a month to figure out what is actually the common thoughts going on.
Because a lot of your thoughts are created by your sub-conscious brain so you’re asking your conscious brain to do this process, therefore you will for sure slightly edit them.
There are certain times when you are not editing.
One is the very first thought of the day. When your alarm goes off or you open your eyes for the day. Those thoughts are often untouched and unfiltered.
If you have never heard of my exercise called “The First 5 Minutes”! Then search through the podcasts to find it. This is how I changed my internal self-talk from negative to positive. And how I teach others to.
This takes into account both of these strategies.
Repetition and Action, also it’s rooted in awareness and it works.
When you interrupt the first thoughts of the day and replace them with other better thoughts. Every single day, you eventually reprogram your subconscious brain to believe them to be true and they become a part of you just as those negative thoughts have been a part of you for so long that you didn’t even realize it until now.
Psychologists have long understood that what you say to yourself matters. And yet we haven’t done nearly as much work on it as we should.
I can tell all of my clients that self-talk is important, they know that! That’s not a secret. But how do you go on a journey of self-discovery to reveal what your self-talk is and how to change it? That’s the question.
Not whether negative self-talk is bad for you and vice versa.
It’s how to change it!
First you must listen, you must become quiet enough to listen and often that unfiltered quiet time comes in the first 5 mins of the day. In 5 mins you can have hundreds of thoughts, or the same thoughts repeating hundreds of times. It’s astounding.
I was saying to my husband the other day, “how many songs do you think an average person knows the melody and lyrics to?” We were throwing numbers out there like 5000 – 10000. My 14 yr old daughter piped up and said I have over 2000 songs on my spotify playlists right now and I know every single one of them.
What the brain is capable of holding onto is astounding. So the ways in way you’ve received your negative programming over the years would probably astound you as well. It takes some time and recognition to change it but it’s not as hard as you think.
Once you’ve become aware of the thoughts, starting repeating new ones and acting on that process – daily! You can then build confidence in other ways that will help to keep those positive thoughts about yourself alive and well.
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