Episode #130 – The Success Paradox

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Recently I”ve become aware of something called the “Success Paradox”.

Because I’ve seen it in action. I help people, mainly artists right now, build success in all corners of their lives.

I’m all about success, success in your self-love, self-development, relationships, career, health, finances, family and friends. That’s really what I strive for, for all of my clients.

And many of them do have success, in many different ways.

Part of striving for success, means having a well defined version of what is success for you!

Aligning your version of success and what you are currently measuring your success on is a VERY important part of the process.

Here are a few key indicators that your success metrics might be miss-aligned with your truth.

• You’ve had your best year yet and you still don’t feel successful.
  • Eg of this is that maybe you wanted to earn $50K in music this year, last year you earned $25k and this year you earned $40K, significantly better but not your goal, and you don’t allow yourself to feel the success of that growth you only focus on the $10K that you are short.
  • In order to continue growing it’s important that you are able to celebrate and have gratitude for the growth you have had even if it’s not yet where you want to be. Because that energy and that feeling will bring you more.
• Small insignificant events get you down and make you feel like you’ve lost or are losing the battle.
  • So a “comment” in passing, on social media or in person has got you feeling so bad about yourself that it overshadows all the great things that are currently happening right now. 
  • You know it shouldn’t be a measuring stick at all but you’re allowing it to somehow factor into your thoughts about your success right now.
• You feel like it is a battle.
  • You are constantly trying to “win”.
• You are still comparing yourself to others who appear to be doing “better” in your industry or space.
  • You see other people achieving success and you think you are behind or that they have taken the seat at the table that you need and now you’re out.
  • You are comparing what you think is happening for them, maybe they got a #1 to you and you don’t have a #1 and you are very frustrated and upset by it. 

So there is a thought process that the bigger the success the harder it is to recognize success metrics. That’s why coaching is so important.

That is also why many artists will hold tight to a goal and then when that goal is reached they don’t feel how they think they are going to feel about it. They don’t allow themselves to feel the success and the gratitude for it.

They are already thinking about the next big goal but the next big goal becomes harder to attain or harder to understand or more competitive.

I want you to keep the success metrics and enjoy the ride and celebrate the success because that’s what it’s all about.

So right now today I want you to ask yourself what are your success metrics?

How do you measure your success?

And hear your answer, if you have said “I want to be a good Dad, or Mom or I want to be able to retire, or happiness, if I”m happy I”m successful.” If those are your answers and yet this past week you struggled with some of the  indicators that I mentioned above then perhaps you are saying one thing and reacting to another – your success metrics are misaligned.

Look at how you are reacting and aligning it with what you believe to be success.

You can still have huge goals, and feel successful right now. That’s the feeling, that I want everyone to get to.

Be careful not to fall into the success paradox trap or misaligning your metrics – how you are measuring your success with what you actually truly feel is success.
 
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